Catch ya Later Humboldt County!

This place has been good to me as I have been good to it. Now I hit the road. I'm headed south to the mountains of Santa Cruz. I'll be living/working with the community farm, "Cosmic Dance Permaculture", for at least 2 weeks and then - where I'm bound I can't tell just yet. My temporary destination will eventually be to end up in the A.V. - perhaps to work on the peach farm for a while and plan my next step. To my family there - I'll see you this fall! To my friends in Humboldt - its been awesome! I'll be back again to soak in the crisp evergreen airs and toke a few with my brothers and sisters of the forest.

For you there is joy, peace, truth an love - always.
Best wishes,
Russ

There, our eyes first met. I did not stumble . . .

there's a Star I have never seen
lost inside a prayer
and somehow, the answer to love is there

I must go where that star was born . . . many years ago
then somehow, the answer to love I'll know

hidden by midnight . . . yet near to the Sun
high on a far off cloud
how I can see it, with eyes ever blind?
just stumbling along with the crowd?

though I must search for my Star alone
just a dream or two behind
yet somewhere . . . the answer to love
I know . . . I'll find

~Vulcan's Song, "Virgo's Quest"

During the large majority of her waking hours she's an appealing feminine creature, with a gentle, pleasing personality, a sweet smile, and sparkling eyes - they literally sparkle, as though tiny stars shone out from them. Those eyes, illuminated by the sun's rays, move through me like the waters of a crystal-clear river. Her presence draws in everyone around her as she radiates her love. There's something refreshing and cool and woodland green, something pure and white and soft about her aura that seems to penetrate the atmosphere around her, calming us with her wandering spirit . She transmutes us all into pure love. It amazes me.

Before throwing caution into the wind, she sings her mantra, "Safety first. Always." Knowing that "an ounce of prevention is worth many pounds of cure." Even a fraction of an ounce. She bends over backwards, like a mental and emotional contortionist, to avoid making mistakes she'll later regret. She makes her decisions with clear minded sheer, uncluttered logic. While grounded into Earth, she pauses to relax into the comforts of her mother's gifts, giving time to soak in the restful silence. Then, the calling returns, beckoning her to move on. As it pulls, her journey is made manifest. Her mission: to swiftly return to her keen intuition which once again carries her into the winds. No thoughts. No expectations. Only Now.

For years she cheerfully and willingly accepted the restrictions, the disappointments and the suffering that rocks all human relationships now and then...far, far beyond the call of Love's duty. She'd sacrifice her own yearnings; the morning song of her own free spirit, longing to be released...her own ego and pride, her need for personal identification - and devote her whole self to the comfort, contentment, success and happiness of her family and the love of a respectable relationship. Let it be clear, though, that deep respect is demanded and earned. This lady is not a sweet, blushing concombine or a genuflecting geisha which a man can pat on her pretty head now and then, and softly mold into a shadow of himself. Not at all. She, a true individual, now sings a declaration of independence. Let her personal truth be heard clearly for she is being guided. Persistence is futile. She is pulled by a strong magnetic force that calls out to her soul, echoing from afar. Her personal relationships are therefore often passing and temporary. She will inevitably, and more than once, end her resistance and answer that call by simply leaving - to follow her new star - to see if she can find out there, somewhere . . . herself. And maybe also an answer to the elusive mystery of love.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

We have given ourselves back to the self, the individual, the one. And now, more than ever, my flame burns stronger and brighter. My warmth and love fueled by that which is now and has always been - though I am now realizing. I beam a silent message that the weary time of waiting is over, and the lost is being found again. The long-ago separated is now reunited.

And before too many moons have passed, somewhere, on a clear twilight, one of them will excitedly point toward the softly singing heavens, and shout, "Look! Up there, near Mercury! A new star!" And at dawn, just as the new day begins, Venus fades from sight over the horizon, to dream awhile . . . before returning at dusk.

. . . Love continues . . .

"Then she added a wistful message, clearly channeled by Vulcan, whether she was aware of it or not . . . a message that echoes the silent, silvery hope of all Virgo women everywhere, when they think about the Libra men they loved and left. "Maybe one day," mused Virgo Margaret Trudeau, "a thunderbolt will strike me . . . and I'll go back to my loved one, my truest one, Pierre."

The Libra man who loves a Virgin, and hasn't lately unbarred the door of her gilded cage, might beneficially gather together his Venus fairness and justice - above all, his Libra wisdom - and ponder those intelligent and genuinely heartfelt words a long, long time."
~Linda Goodman

Sacred Law of the Universe: Allow each soul to walk its path.

Creative Control

Recent thought:

Truth. Life is what I believe it be: what I choose to think, feel, say, do - and so create. Consciousness is opportunity for creative control; it is a real super-human power.

Recently read:

The World's Greatest Lie: "...that at a certain point in our lives we loose control of whats happening to us, and that our lives become controlled by fate." ~Paulo Coelho

Obstacles

"There are four obstacles (in life). First we are told from childhood onward that everything we really want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There is a time when our personal calling is so buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it's still there.

If we have the courage to disinter dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward. We do not realize that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: "Oh, well, I didn't really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

I ask myself are defeats necessary?

Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and get up eight times.

So, why is it so important to live out personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people?

Because, once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do - we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with our enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and , without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Having disinterred our dreams, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said: "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we gave up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal - when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."

~Paulo Coelho

"In times of change the learners will inherit the earth, whiled the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." ~Eric Hoffer

Seriousness

I was in bikram yoga class and, well doing really intense poses and the instructor keeps telling us to focus your eyes in the mirror on your third eye - and do this without making your forehead raise. So I'm looking super serious at this point, focused, enduring.

He walks in front of me with a huge smile laughing, "Don't be so serious! If its hard, just breathe slow and deep, smile laugh and enjoy the experience of strengthening your weak spots."

Wow, how profound for me to hear. I've been realizing this about myself, and then hearing it was affirming.

finding balance

I am always learning. This just came to mind...

The space between persistence and resistance is simply existence. It is choosing to love and be with yourself (as if you would passionately love and give to another) then surrendering the rest to God.

Truth

Speak Your Truth as Soon as You Know It.

"The biggest lesson I have learned in life revolves around truth. There is no such thing as Absolute Truth in the objective sense, but there is subjective truth, there is what is true for you, and that is extraordinarily important in your life.

Seek to live authentically, seek to be fully you, for it is in living with only half of you showing, only half of you known, only half of you expressed, that unhappiness is guaranteed.

Do not hide your personal truth, your authentic feelings, your here-and-now experience from anyone-least of all from your dearest loved ones or your beloved other.

Interestingly, these are often the ones from whom we hide the most. Usually we do it because we do not want to hurt their feelings. Or, perhaps, because we do not want to lose them.

So we keep them in place by keeping them in doubt, by keeping them in the dark, by not telling them all of what is true for us. This is exactly the opposite of what we most benefit from doing, yet we live as a recluse from the expression of our own truest feelings, hopes, fears and desires. And that is not living at all, that is dying.

The death is slow, but it is certain. And one morning we wake up and we simply no longer feel alive.

So tell your truth as soon as you know it. Do not think you are saving another person's feelings by holding back or holding in. A wonderful master once taught me Speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace. You can share the most difficult truth gently. Do so.

Live your truth in every moment and in every way, and you will be happy in your heart, for truth makes the spirit soar, truth sets the mind free, truth opens the heart, and truth ignites the passion and releases the love of the soul."

~From Happier than God by Neale D. Walsch