I need to be done with this weakness, this vulnerability. I soak in too much, but no more. I really need to become all around balanced. I need to need it, as a matter of healthy life or painful death. I need to wrap my mind around what this really means. Its been on my mind for so long. For some reason I have yet to fully discover, the last couple of years have been pretty lonely for me. I have had a lot of time to be with the self. In my mind, I've hardwired where/when/how my character fits into the play as it unfolds. I feel behind, as if I have lagged behind, but for some grand reason that's beyond me now. I have questioned and I have had doubt for the signs I've encountered. I do not wish to repeatedly ignore them, or avoid the instinctual drive to follow them. For this seems to be, to me, the reason I feel this need to catch up with where I need to be in life. Doubt, laziness and fear stems from self doubt, self loathing, and self fear. I tend to doubt my judgment, tend to addict to simple gratifications as mean of temporary comfort, tend to fear the reactions of those who's ignorance or awareness of my actions creates for misunderstanding. For too long I have personally limited the power of confidence; the law of attraction; the efficacy of manifestation; the truth of this affirmation. No longer I say. No longer will I continue this pattern. I am eagar to break through this transition into a more healthy life.

Russell's Sushi Spring Rolls

This is my most favorite food to prepare and eat because it's both yummy and very HEALTHY! Almost all of the ingredients are raw, providing active enzymes for digestion and plenty of vitamins/nutrients. Most of the ingredients can be changed based on your preferences. This particular recipe contains no meat, but raw/cooked fish or ground turkey is a wonderful addition. Preparing spring rolls and/or sushi will take patience and time. It is a skill to learn. Think of it as edible artwork and have fun with it! The rice wrappers make rolling sushi much easier and can then be eaten like a burrito. What I like to do is make a bunch of them on the weekend so I can eat them for lunches the following week. They store very well in the refrigerator (the avocado turns brownish after a couple days, but is still good). These are perfect for potluck dinner parties because you can get help with the wrapping, which saves a lot of time.

Preparation time: approx. 1 hour
Makes 14-20 rolls

Ingredients:

• 1 pkg. Sushi Nori (10 sheets)
• 1 pkg. Spring Roll Wrappers
• 1 - 1 1/2 cup rice noodles or mung bean noodles or sushi (sticky) rice
• 1 small raw beet
• 3 raw carrots
• Raw ginger root (I like a lot)
• 1 pkg. sprouts (any kind works)
• Raw spinach or other lettuce green
• 1 Avocado (firm, not too ripe)
• Bragg's Liquid Aminos in spray bottle (optional)
• Wasabi

Optional (but delicious) Pumpkin seed paste:

• 1 cup raw dehydrated pumpkin seeds (or almond butter)
• 1 tbsp. Sweet Chili Sauce
• 1 tbsp. Miso paste
• 1 tsp. Fish Sauce
• 1 - 2 tsp. cold water to bring it to a paste texture

Prepare:

1. Pumpkin seed paste - grind pumpkin seeds into a fine texture in a coffee grinder or food processor. Add chili sauce, miso, and fish sauce. Add a little water at a time until it becomes pastie.
   
   
2. Cook noodles or rice according to directions. Allow to cool before using.
   
   
3. Peel and chop beets, carrots, ginger and avocado into thin spears about 4 in. long. Take your time to cut them as thin as possible, watch your fingers!
   
   
   
   
4. Fold and cut/tear Sushi Nori in half "hamburger width" to make strips.
   
   
5. Get the greens, noodles/rice and other ingredients ready to work with.
   
   
6. In a pan wide enough to fit the spring roll wrappers into, fill with hot water. It needs to be kept hot enough so that you can still put your fingers in it. It may cool down during preparation, so be sure to reheat it when necessary.
   
   
   
7. Dip the spring roll wrapper into the hot water, submerging completely. Watch carefully. After a few seconds the wrapper will become limp and start to sink. Carefully pick it up out of the water making sure the wrapper doesn't fold and stick to itself. Lay it out on a wide flat plate, quickly unfolding the wrinkles if necessary.
   
   
8. Place sushi nori strip directly in the middle. Spread a thin layer of the seed paste on the nori.
   
   
   
9. Lay in the rest of your ingredients, a little at a time until you get a feel for how much to add. Leave some room at the far end to seal the roll. Don't over-stuff it or it will be difficult to roll. Spray once with liquid aminos.
   
   
   
10. Begin to roll. The technique is like making a burrito, yet you want to make the rolls as tight as possible. Roll it until you have covered all of the ingredients, then fold in the ends.
    
    
    
11. Finish by wrapping the rest over. The rice paper will seal itself and stay closed.
    
    
    
    
12. Serve with a dipping sauce of your choice or just stick with soy sauce and wasabi. I like to use a peanut-ginger-shitake salad dressing. Sometimes I'll eat them without sauce because the paste is very flavorful. If you notice that the wrapper is really chewy, you didn't leave it in the hot water long enough. Try again until you get it down perfecto. Wall-ah! Russell's Sushi Spring Rolls!

Mamma always said, "I don't need to take a pill, I get my vitamins from the food I eat." Thanks Mom.